There once was a jingoistic bald eagle named Brad. He had an affinity for the American flag, as his nest was made from one. Brad’s favorite past time is to harangue other birds about America and because of this every bird hates him. Brad can’t date other birds, so he is in love with a vixen, who loves this implacable love for America.  

            Brad decided to diatribe  his new friend, Harry the shark, about America one day. Little did Brad know, Harry is a sadistic dunce who hates America. Harry began to hate Brad, and began to plan his death.

            However, Harry isn’t the most intelligent, so it took about 4 years before Brad actually died. Harry waited for Brad to plummet into the waters for fish, then took every fish Brad caught. Harry did this for a week straight, every time Brad caught a fish, Harry would eat it before Brad could even get a bite. Brad died of starvation three days later. His girlfriend married Harry and had 17 children.

The end